Let Kids Plan the Family Holiday: Age-Based Activities and Limits

Last reviewed: November 2026. Guidance on children’s choices by age comes from Zero to Three, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), UNICEF and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). None of these bodies has written specifically about planning holidays, so the activities here are our practical suggestions built from that general advice.

Children who feel a holiday is partly theirs tend to be more interested in it: at least, that’s what you’re hoping for when you hand a six-year-old a map. And it’s fun. It turns a holiday into something you do with your children rather than something you take them on. There’s a catch, though. If you ask an eight-year-old where the family should go, you might get “the moon” or “Grandma’s house”, and you’ll then have to explain why you’ve said no. The trick is to give them real choices inside limits you have already set. This guide shows what children can decide at each age, and includes a planner you can print.

Quick answer

• Offer real choices, but only ones you can accept. If a decision is really yours, don’t present it as a choice.
• Two options are enough for young children. Zero to Three and UNICEF both suggest keeping choices small.
• Keep adults in charge of the budget, safety, dates and health decisions.
• Give each child one “job” and one “pick”. A job might be finding the playground. A pick might be one activity or one dinner.
• Older children can research and present. Let them compare two options and make a case.

What children can decide, by age

General advice is consistent on this: choices should be real, limited and age-appropriate, and should grow as your child does. UNICEF advises not overwhelming a young child and says two options are often enough. Zero to Three says offering choices gives children a sense of control and can reduce defiance. The AAP’s HealthyChildren site notes that children as young as four are already looking for more independence. Here’s how that might translate to a family trip.

Set the boundaries first

The CDC says that if a decision is really yours, you shouldn’t offer it as a choice. Say “We’re going on Tuesday”, not “Shall we go on Tuesday?” Before you involve anyone, write down the things that aren’t up for discussion:

• Budget: what the trip can cost, and how much is set aside for each activity.
• Dates: school terms, work, and how long you have.
• Safety and health: places you’ve ruled out, vaccinations, and swimming and road rules.
• Family limits: how much driving you can face, how many early starts, and how many activities a day.
• Everyone’s needs: a toddler’s nap, a grandparent’s mobility, or an older child’s limit on hours in the car.

Tell your children the limits openly. “We have £X for a day out” or “We can drive for three hours” are good real-world constraints that also teach them how planning works.

Step-by-step: a family planning session

1. Pick the moment. Choose a calm time with a snack. Twenty minutes is plenty with younger children.
2. Share the shortlist. If you are choosing a destination, offer two or three that you’d be happy with. For a beach holiday, you might compare a resort in Spain, a Danish beach or a Greek island.
3. Let everyone browse. Show them pictures, a map or videos. Our family destinations worth the flight and where to see wildlife with kids are good places to start.
4. Everyone writes or draws their top three things. Younger children can point or draw.
5. Do a fair round of picks. Each person gets one guaranteed pick, within the limits you set. Pick order rotates.
6. Book only what needs booking. Timed tickets go on the plan, with free time left around them.
7. Give out the jobs. Everyone has one thing to do before the trip and one thing to do during it.
8. Put it up where it can be seen. A paper calendar on the fridge helps younger children to look forward to the trip.

Destination and activity ideas to compare

Comparing two real options is the best exercise. These pairs on our site work well for this, with information to show older children:

• Theme parks: Legoland parks compared or Disney parks compared for young kids. Your child can check which rides they’re tall enough for.
• Cities: 3 days in London or 3 days in Paris.
• Road trips: Denmark or Scandinavia.
• Rainy-day back-ups: let an older child choose from 10 indoor family attractions.
• Nature: US National Parks have a Junior Ranger programme that children enjoy. See US national parks with kids.

A printable holiday planner

Use your browser’s print button to print this planner. Give each child a copy, or write their answers for them.

My holiday

• ☐ Where we’re going: ____________
• ☐ How we get there: ____________
• ☐ How many sleeps: ____________

My picks

• ☐ Something I want to see: ____________
• ☐ Something I want to eat: ____________
• ☐ Something I want to try: ____________
• ☐ Something I want to bring: ____________

My job

• ☐ Before we go, I will: ____________
• ☐ While we’re there, I will: ____________

Older children

• ☐ Opening hours of my pick: ____________
• ☐ How much it costs: ____________
• ☐ How long it takes to get there: ____________
• ☐ What’s our plan if it rains? ____________

Common mistakes and real-world scenarios

• Asking an open question. “Where do you want to go?” invites answers you can’t deliver. “Beach or mountains?” works better.
• Offering a false choice. If you’ve already booked, don’t ask. Children quickly notice when their pick doesn’t count.
• Letting one child dominate. Rotate picks fairly, and let the quieter child go first.
• Ignoring what the youngest can manage. An older child’s pick may not suit a toddler’s nap, so plan a way for you to split up for a few hours.
• Making it a homework assignment. If your child loses interest, let it go. They can pick a snack and leave the rest to you.
• Overcommitting. It’s easy to promise everyone everything. One pick each, plus free time, is plenty.
• Giving children safety decisions. A child can pick the beach but not whether to swim where there’s no lifeguard. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that a responsible adult needs to give constant attention to children around water.

Keep it going during the trip

• Let them navigate. A child old enough to read a map can lead the walk to lunch, while you keep an eye on the road.
• Give them a small budget for souvenirs, and let them make their own decisions, and mistakes.
• Keep a journal. Read travel activity books and journals for ages 4 to 8.
• Let them have a say in the evening. Ask, “What should tomorrow’s first thing be: A or B?”
• Review it at the end. “What was the best pick?” is a good way to start thinking about the next trip.